the stranger

Inspired by:
Boys (Lesson One)
Long Fall Back to Earth

I never knew you
never heard your voice
I never touched your face
never saw it contorted in anger
or joy
in sadness
or delight
I never felt my small hand swallowed up in your big one
Never knew what was never right
You were a stranger to me

There were no lessons passed down
except those learned in your absence
how to survive
how to be alone
how not to need anyone
madness
or blessing?
Your legacy is an empty house on a dark, abandoned street
I never knew what I was missing
You were a stranger

But stranger still
are the loving eyes I see
when he looks at me
Stranger still is the gentle hand
He extends to
a stranger

I never knew you
but I believed you
when you touched my face
when you promised forever
I should have known there wasn't space
enough
for you to love
that much
I felt you let go long before you said goodbye
felt it in your touch
You were a stranger

You gave no reasons
except that you tried
you couldn't remember
you couldn't pretend anymore
you lied
to yourself
and to me
Your legacy is charred walls, a home in ashes
and grief like the sea
You were a stranger

But stranger still
is how special I feel
when He talks to me
Stranger still is the gentle touch
He offers to
a stranger

I didn't know you
when I heard your voice
when you called to me and called me
your own
your child
your joy
I couldn't see your face
at first
But I put my small hand in your big one
where it has been through bad and worse
I was a stranger

You leave me notes
a hundred reasons why I am loved in your absence
You hear my heart
You touch my soul
You whisper things I could never know
in my madness
you are a blessing
Your legacy is a child, a bride, a friend & lover
Dancing

But stranger still
is that these eyes can see
what they had never known before
Stranger still is the gentle hand
you extend to me
until I'm not a stranger anymore

Listen to the whole song here: Crimson Sparrow on Tumblr

Exactly What I Said

When I said
I don't know
what I meant was
I miss you
like earth aches for spring

When I told you
I don't have
what I meant was
I need you
the way the sky waits for rain

When I want
nothing at all
what I mean is
I'll do whatever it takes
even as a widow hosts for the dead

When I said
I love you
what I meant was
exactly what I said