Cain's Offering

I see your eyes drift to her again

lightly and ever so slightly

above the clink of glasses

the murmur of voices

the collage of background noise

with some dispassion I note your self-control

most of them do not bother to fight it anymore

you want to be with her

you are hoping to make things right with me
to reassure me

to reassure us

so you can go to her tonight

with some sense of peace

You are looking at her

so you do not see me

the tears pricking the corners of my eyes

the acceptance in the lines around my mouth

the weariness that has drained my glass

and left a bitter taste in my soul

I don't want your well-meant, token offerings

your sugar-cane, able placations 

Your once tender heart is bloody on one side

where it sits in the shattered, glittering shards of your mind

growing cold

though it's still beating

I share you like a public park bench

I would whisper to you of all the things I dreamed could be
of us, together in the great world
grand adventure
but you listen for rules when I speak
and your bloody heart adds them to her beat
while your mind dances with her to its rhythm

all I wanted to do was capture your imagination
I sit instead within this pretty-papered box beside you
leaking onto the seat cushion just enough
you feel obligated to apologize to our waitress
when you leave